Of Babes and Lions

As a child, I loved a magician named Dr. Ohm.
He was a friend of the family and a collector of magical antiquities. Puzzle boxes, magics from the Orient, and old European talismans filled his home to capacity, so that his estate seemed like a massive, sprawling caravan.
It was a wizard's study.
It made Harry Potter look like child's play.
His house was the stuff from which children's dreams were made.

Among his many things, Dr. Ohm owned a stuffed lion that dwarfed me. It was the most amazing and beautiful thing my child's eyes had ever seen.
In an act of what seemed like unimaginable kindness, he gave me the lion.
I was overcome; The wizard had given me his magic cat - the largest and most awesome cat I'd ever seen in my entire life.
I carried it everywhere - to gymnastics and ballet, to the doctor and on camping trips. I would sooner lose an arm than part with that lion.
Eventually, it wore thin (I thought it was "growing bones and coming to life") and my parents secretly disposed of it.
But, I never forgot the lion, and eventually replaced it with a similar toy.

Of course, I'm not a little girl anymore, but I still carry it with me.


This lion is a great source of amusement among my friends, who tease me whenever we move:


My mother purchased a jungle-themed suit for my infant son:


I thought it would be cute to position him as if he were riding the lion, but he would have none of that.
I thought it was simply uncomfortable for an infant to straddle something so large and broad-backed as a lion that is roughly the size of me.
It took me a while to realize what my son was actually trying so hard to communicate.


"OH MY GOD, IT'S A LION. GET IN THE CAR!"


"Okay, stay calm and pick me up very, very slowly."


"I AM TOUCHING ASSES WITH A FREAKING LION! PICK ME UP, GOD DAMN IT!"

I still thought it was the positioning that was making him uncomfortable.
So, I put him in front of the lion's jaws.
Road to Hell. Good intentions. You know the feeling. :)


"I don't want to die! I've never even been to the zoo!"


*dies*

Fortunately, his father recognized the sounds of "Mommy's Feeding Me To A Gru!" and came to the rescue.


"Daddy, it almost ATE me!"

You can actually watch him watch me putting the lion away:

"Mommy's fighting a LION!"


"Mommy, don't let it eat you!"

Fortunately, Dad has the magic ability to make our son feel instantly warm and safe.


"Dad! Dad! There was a lion, and it was about to bite me RIGHT HERE!"


"But now you're here and my Dad can kill ALL the monsters!"

So, I didn't end up with the picture that I wanted, but I was able to capture a pretty neat snapshot in A Day In The Life of Max Jackson.