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Gay Cats

Xerxes is a Snow Bengal, a pale deviation achieved by breeding the common golden Bengal with a Siamese:


Siamese were bred for conversation, because the people of Siam had one of those "good ideas" that changed the world irrevocably for the worse, like religious sacrifice and fuchsia velour.

Side note: I love Sony, where "game promotion" means "sacrificing a goat and serving guests out of its still-warm carcass."
Don't order the chicken.

Anyway. Siam.
It baffles the mind that:
a) an animal kept for pleasure by humans was genetically altered, by humans, exponentially increasing its ability to irritate...humans, and
b) assuming irritation wasn't the goal (because that would be madness), no one ever stopped (in all those successively more annoying cat generations) and cried out, "My god, this cat is so annoying! What in Goliath's thong are we doing?!"

Thank you, Siam. Your contribution to the zen of our species is duly noted.
In return, please accept our gift of an air raid siren which will auto-test every fifteen minutes for the next twenty years.
WHAT? I AM SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
THE CAT YOU MADE DEAFENS US ALL.



It was hard to like Xerxes. In fact, I liked him least of all.
He was the smartest, the most well-behaved...but the noise...
Do you remember those old Sylvester cartoons, like Back Alley Oproar?

I wanted to kill him. I'm not afraid to say it.
I didn't kill him. I didn't hurt him. But I'm amazed the side of his head didn't burst into flame with the ferocity of my glare.

Then, I read something I'd forgotten long ago;
Cats meow only to communicate with humans, and not to communicate with other cats.
He was talking to me, talking to us.

Maybe he just wanted attention.
Does that sound far-fetched?
Faced with the alternative - fifteen years of MMMEEEOOOWWW - I'm choosing the alternative of childlike optimism.
The next time he meowed, I softly called his name.
He looked at me, a little puzzled, but jumped onto the couch. I pet his head for a moment, and then he lied down next to me as I started this entry.

If it doesn't work, I suppose I can always start a YouTube channel, like the Bengal Mean Kitty.

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